Healing Others…

Very often when we start to find our way out of the darkness we want to bring the others in our life with us. We read something inspiring and think “so and so needs to see this”. We hear someone speaking on an issue that has touched our lives and…

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When You Don’t Know What to Say

When You Don’t Know What to Say

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Holidays Can be Hard: the Healing Journey

Holidays Can be Hard: the Healing Journey

Holidays – can be more than difficult for some of us. In fact this time of year can often be hell for those of us who come from families of drama/trauma and dysfunction. Understanding that we are not alone in this and finding a few strategies to navigate this season…

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Being Helpful or Butting In; How to Tell the Difference

Being Helpful or Butting In; How to Tell the Difference

As one from a background filled with drama, trauma and dysfunction it was challenging to learn how to start stopping the behaviors that perpetuated the patterns of my past. I came up with this to guide me: talking about what I think, feel, do, don’t do, did or want to…

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When It Feels Like You’re Dying…

When I first started on this journey I thought I would die from the grief that ripped me apart as I started separating myself from those who’d contributed to my trauma. The one thing that has helped me to keep going was first born of anger and a need for…

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When Another Person Makes You Suffer (Thict Nhat Hanh)

When Another Person Makes You Suffer (Thict Nhat Hanh)

When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. – Thich Nhat Hanh Wow. Well. This is a pretty big subject for survivors of drama, trauma and dysfunction. But this essay by Nancy Nicolazzo is also a very good example…

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Breaking the Dance of Dysfunction

Breaking the Dance of Dysfunction

Every now and then I hear from someone who has expressed they did not appreciate something I’ve said or written. And this comes from all sides and on all subjects so it’s not that there is a particular individual that I’m considering as I write this. Rather, this is a…

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When the Haters are Your Family ( Steve Harvey )

One thing that I’ve found is that to live in “mental wellness” it’s important to get information on living life from sources other than mental illness system; to learn to see ourselves as learners capable of creating the life we want instead of as disordered, defective and disabled. You see,…

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When We are Feeling Judged (Social Media)

When We are Feeling Judged (Social Media)

Here’s the thing about posting personal thoughts or feelings on social media; as in a dysfunctional family it acts like an open door to those with poor boundaries and a lack of emotional maturity (empathy) to use this as an opportunity to critique your thoughts/feelings as “right” or “wrong” in…

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Making others Less or More; Being Enough

Making others Less or More; Being Enough

Those who have a hierarchy of some are “less” and some are “more” will always make those who fail to meet their expectations or demands as being “less”; they will always find a defect to criticize, a way to demean, disregard and otherwise blame the other rather than simply allowing…

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