relationshipsRather than waiting on friends, or family, to figure out what you want you can try practicing asking for what you want specifically. Then if they show you that they don’t value your relationship by becoming defensive or otherwise dismissing your request, instead of dropping hints or engaging in the drama pattern of conflict, be prepared to create some distance in this relationship or even move on. You may at first feel angry – that is normal when we are experiencing a loss or a change that we were not expecting. But then you may feel sad and realize that you must grieve the loss of the “ideal” friendship you had hoped for and accept what “is”. Often we don’t miss the person as much as we miss the idea of the person and the ideal relationship we had hopes for.

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