There Was A Reason

From the Empowering Solutions Facebook page archives…. There was a reason I struggled and suffered and it wasn’t because something was “wrong” with me but that I’d been conditioned from early on to tolerate the intolerable; to not resist, to surrender my power, to be compliant and obedient. My empowering…

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Narcissists, Psychopaths and Manipulators

Narcissists, Psychopaths and Manipulators

This is a touchy subject, especially for the Walking Wounded. And for years I felt probably similar to many others. I hated, despised and was disgusted by those who had harmed me physically, sexually, emotionally and psychologically. I was enraged at the realization that first my family could wound me…

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Getting UNComfortable With Chaos and Crisis

Getting UNComfortable With Chaos and Crisis

Very often as one starts traveling this path from there, where we’ve been, to where we want to be we can find ourselves stuck in patterns of what I call “chronic chaos”. This – chronic chaos – may be that place where “nothing ever seems to go right” or “why…

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When It Feels Like You’re Dying…

When I first started on this journey I thought I would die from the grief that ripped me apart as I started separating myself from those who’d contributed to my trauma. The one thing that has helped me to keep going was first born of anger and a need for…

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I Feel Broken …

I Feel Broken …

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It’s In the Story (suffering)

It’s In the Story (suffering)

  I discovered an empowering solution when I understood that my level of suffering was directly related to the story I was telling myself about my circumstances. Was it “horrible” or “unfortunate” that I’d made that mistake? Was it “betrayal” or “their choice” when someone didn’t do as I thought…

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Are You Mad?

Are You Mad?

I’ve often thought that one of the things that would be helpful to teach to both children and adults is to learn how to recognize and resolve those “big feelings”. After all, for survivors of bad things we often end up with lots of big feelings but just as often…

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When Another Person Makes You Suffer (Thict Nhat Hanh)

When Another Person Makes You Suffer (Thict Nhat Hanh)

When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. – Thich Nhat Hanh Wow. Well. This is a pretty big subject for survivors of drama, trauma and dysfunction. But this essay by Nancy Nicolazzo is also a very good example…

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Breaking the Dance of Dysfunction

Breaking the Dance of Dysfunction

Every now and then I hear from someone who has expressed they did not appreciate something I’ve said or written. And this comes from all sides and on all subjects so it’s not that there is a particular individual that I’m considering as I write this. Rather, this is a…

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The task of this journey

The task of this journey is not to fix ourselves but to give ourselves what we did not get in the beginning. What did you NOT get that you needed? What DID you get that you did not need – or deserve? Owning our justified anger allows us to let…

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