Too often those who seek help for emotional or behavioral issues end up being told something is wrong with them instead of being told what happened to them was wrong.
We struggle with feelings of hopelessness, helplessness and powerless for anything better.
We often “act out” in ways that hurt ourselves or others that is interpreted as an “illness” rather than a normal and natural response to family and societal dysfunction.
(Hint: anytime someone within a dysfunctional system – be it family or societal – starts to rock the boat and resist the “status quo” they are labeled as “wrong”, “sick”, “crazy” and the system joins forces to force/coerce and manipulate this individual to return to their role that allows the status quo to resume….)
And when “acting out” doesn’t offer us any relief we will often “shut down” or “zone out” that results in more labels, more diagnosis….
Initially a feeling of hope as we think “ah! They know what is “wrong” with me so now they can fix me!”.
Only this doesn’t work either and we are left believing, again, that something is wrong with us instead of that perhaps the “treatment” was wrong for us.
The point here is….
There was a reason I struggled and suffered and it wasn’t because something was “wrong” with me but that I’d been conditioned from early on to tolerate the intolerable; to not resist, to surrender my power, to be compliant and obedient.
My empowering solution came in the form of learning to recognize that depression, irritability, anger, anxiety and fear were NOT “just how I was” but that this was how I’d learned to cope and survive – by denying my true value and potential, surrendering my power and living in chronic frustration of not liking the way I was being treated yet – not knowing what to do to help myself.
It was in recognizing that the depression, irritability, anger, anxiety and fear were symptoms of feeling overwhelmed and powerless AND THEN not focusing on “why do I feel so bad” or what others were doing that seemed to be causing me pain…
…but instead in CHOOSING to shift to “what am I feeling powerless over and what can I do about it to change this for myself?” is where I found the power to take the actions that would create the change that changed my life.
There is nothing “wrong” with us who have struggled and we CAN learn the skills to change our life – “for life”.
I’d like to invite you to begin your journey by visiting the Empowering Solutions page here.
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