As a kid my family laughed at me if I cried, got angry/upset ….if I showed any emotion my siblings were right there to poke fun at me and shame me. And laugh at me. They laughed at me a lot. Minimizing my existence. Making “me” not matter.
Telling me that I didn’t matter every time I dared to exist or be seen. My brother would pin me down and tickle me until I screamed then kept tickling me – and no one ever rescued me.
My body was never my own; sexually groomed by father and uncles from my earliest memories I had no concept of my body or that my body was “mine”.
The ONLY safe place from their cruelty and violations was to disappear. To not exist. To hide physically, emotionally and mentally.
And the ONLY way to heal from this I’ve found? Is to face it. Feel it.
And be willing to let go of it rather than ruminate in it.
We CAN heal our wounds. We CAN re program the lies that said “you’re not enough; you don’t matter”.
The CHALLENGE is to choose their words – or new words. Every. Time. It. Comes. Up.
Repeat this when the voices from the past try to haunt you: I AM enough. I am worthy and I AM valuable – simply because I exist.